Peter lived a sad, lonely life. He'd given up on an intimate, sharing relationship because he knew he'd only repeat the past and end up hurting those who meant the most to him - his wife, his children and his parents. His young family had disappeared many years ago. Not even his parents invited him to their special occasions because they never knew if he was going to arrive drunk or drugged up to the eyeballs.
Just a few months ago I met Peter and was immediately taken by his sincerity and searching for answers. He's been in and out of rehab and also had extensive therapy for his A.D.H.D. He did extremely well when not drugged or in an alcoholic haze, but wasn't able to stay 'clean' for any period of time.
He was trying to understand himself and had one burning question which no one had ever been able to answer - he wanted to know what made him start taking these things in the first place.
As he spoke, the more the puzzle pieces fell into place.
He remembered being a fun-loving, adventurous, excitable and exciting kid who couldn't understand why he was always in trouble in class, and was teased and excluded by his classmates. Home wasn't much different and he'd go home to a hiding every day not knowing why he'd had it. Peter spoke of the intense pain when he first began to feel he was a waste of space. He desperately wanted to belong and eventually found refuge in a group of kids who were already drinking heavily. He did not like the alcohol but it meant he was part of the group.
Finally Peter understood - his life of substance abuse started because he was looking for acceptance - he wanted to belong.
This is a common story in the life of people with A.D.H.D. and especially those who were raised in a time when people just saw them as noisy, naughty children. No one recognized how hard they tried, and no one helped. - Anon
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